The Infinite One

For Meher Baba's Birthday, February 25, 1894

The Song

The sands of the Infinite desert

Stretch out far beyond the eye.

Each grain calls out to me,

Each cry beyond my ear.

I am aware of every soul

Knowing all and yet alone.

My strength is in the sky.

Gaseous ball of firelight

Burns the suffering sand,

Cool ether of the cosmos

Within my heart and hand.

Pitted, crater covered moon

Glows beyond the sea.

Within I am alone in thought,

Water, earth, rock, sky is me.

And you who feel nothing,

A tortured ignorance

Of all that is beyond—

Look to the stars.

Hear the boulders sing.

Let the waves, the wind

Enlighten you.

Baba Ran, 2/24/16

Liberation

Meher Baba

I am You.

There is nothing else to be.

You are Everywhere,

In Everything,

And Beyond Everything.

Every part of my being

Is You.

To know this

Is pure joy.

What I like about You

Is also

What I like about me.

In this knowledge

I have found Love

For myself

And for All.

There is nowhere else

To look

For Love and Truth.

All is within me

And I am free.

Baba Ran, 12/19/15

The Man with the Flute

The Man with the Flute

The birds of winter find a home on the beach
Where the man with the flute feeds them.
Beside the infinite ocean
Gray-green like the overarching sky
Wings flutter in anticipation.
They jostle each other and peck
Finding best position in the crowd.
The sand is hard, rocks line the shore.
A stray dog barks and they scatter
Back to the waves, floating together
In the metallic water
Over curling tide that crashes into splinters,
Freezing foam on the rocks
They persevere.
When danger passes they leap into the wind
Feet and chubby bellies landing gracelessly
To chase more bits of corn.
The ocean is indifferent, cold and hard
The setting sunlight strains to be seen
Through the darkening clouds.
Dinner for the ducks is nearly done.
The man with the flute comes every day,
And the birds and I wait.
In the late afternoon as fall becomes winter,
I sit in my heated car
While they shake frigid droplets from wings and beaks.
It is food for me too.
I rest assured that compassion rules the steely winter.

Barbara Gilbert, 11/19/15

http://youtu.be/t6RW4h5PnRk

Bravo Mike Martin for flute playing and videography!!

Spiritual Emergency (Emerge..and..see)

It is my experience that God speaks to me.

This experience began to manifest itself in 1999 when I was suicidal. Instead of hurting myself, I surrendered my life to God by lying facedown on the floor and saying with all my heart, "God, I have done everything I can do on my own. I can do no more. If you want me to get up from this floor, You are going to have to do it for me."

I blacked out. I don't know how long I was lying there, but when I arose I felt the distinct presence of an angel—the Archangel Michael to be exact. Michael was directing my life and body, and God was talking to me through my spiritual ears. God asked me what I wanted. I was so sad and broken that I said, "I want a party." In a sweet, compassionate voice, I heard God say, "Are you sure?"

God was so gentle, so loving, so kind. I immediately broke down crying and regretted asking for a party. I said, "No God. I want Love. I want Love for me, Love for You, and Love for all the world."
God said "Done."

Since that time, I have had regular experiences like this. Soon after this began happening, I learned of Meher Baba, a Master from India who claimed to be the modern advent of Jesus Christ. Through many revelations, dreams, and visions, as well as thorough studying of Meher Baba's words and life, I have come to believe that His claim is true.

All of this hit me like lightning. I felt as if bolts of electricity were shooting from my head to my feet. I couldn't control my joy at finding God, and I started acting in a very bizarre manner. I told people that I was talking to God, and my family and friends called me "delusional." Mental health professionals called me "bi-polar" and "grandiose." No matter what medications they put me on, I still had regular contact with God. Over time, I have spoken to assorted angels, spirits, and demons, all while working for God to spread knowledge of Meher Baba to the world.

My mental illness is nothing new in spiritual literature. Meher Baba writes about it in Discourses (6th edition, Volume 3, pages 29-30.) According to Baba, some spiritual aspirants "become dazed, confused and even self-deluded. Some are caught in a coma. There are some who, with difficulty, try to come down to gross consciousness by repeating some physical action or by repeating a sentence many times. There are some who, in their God-intoxication, are so indifferent to the life of the gross world that to all appearances their external behavior is like that of mad persons." . . . "Aspirants are mostly happy: it is due to their contact and communion with God. For some the joy of inward companionship with the Divine Beloved is so great that they become unbalanced in their behaviour. As a result, in their unsubdued state of God-intoxication they may abuse people, throw stones at them and behave like ghosts. Their state is often described as that of the Unmatta. Owing to the exuberance of uncontrolled joy in their inward contact with the Divine Beloved, they are utterly heedless of worldly standards or values. Owing to the fearlessness which comes to them through complete detachment, they often manifest a self-expression which can easily be mistaken for idiosyncrasy and unruliness." (Emphasis His)

Readings like this helped me through very difficult times. I've swung back and forth for the last 16 years, from states of total absorption in God to relatively normal living. I've been evaluated and treated in nearly 30 mental hospitals and I currently take medication for bi-polar disorder. I find our mental health system to be sorely lacking in information about spiritual "emergencies." Most providers treat only according to the medical model which diagnoses every disorder as biological in nature. I've had very few therapists willing to talk about spiritual realities with me, and many people "correct" me to say that I am not hearing God, but hearing "voices" as if I were schizophrenic.

It is my hope to inform the public that there is more out there and that much of it can't be "fixed" with a pill. Problems like mine needed spiritual help, and I have been blessed to know several people in the Meher Baba community who give me the support and encouragement I need. Over time, I have stabilized and have been able to function without difficulty in the gross world. My Reality remains within me, however. As Meher Baba said, "God alone is Real."

Back from a long break

I haven't posted a blog entry in a long time. Life has been going by, with its share of ups and downs. I lost my mother to lung disease in December 2013. That was particularly difficult. We had so many conflicts over the last few years, but in the last year of her life we were able to talk openly and heal many of the wounds. When she died, I had no regrets. I had made my peace with her and it felt really good.

I never made it to Africa. Maybe someday.

Now I am looking forward to a possible career change. I hope it works out. Along those lines I am happy to say that I have been volunteering to run some groups at a local recovery center. I lead a writer's group and a spirituality group. My new career will allow me to continue in the roll of counselor and support specialist for my peers who have struggled with mental illness. It is the culmination of some of my greatest dreams and I have a lot of hope for the future.

As Meher Baba says—"Have hope. I have come to help you in surrendering yourselves to the Cause of God and in accepting His grace of Love and Truth. I have come to help you in winning the one victory of all victories—to win yourself." I have found these words to ring true for me as the years go by. All of my hope rests in God and He never disappoints.

Blessings to one and all.

On the other side of normal

The way to enlightenment is very frightening. In the pursuit of ultimate truth, one has to face that God is actually EVERYTHING . . . not just the pleasant stuff of hymns and fairy tales. It was my sincere belief, for a long time, that God was a sadistic torturer. I expected him to rip me to shreds and keep me in pain for eternity. I suffered intensely for knowledge of this God . . . experience of this God. I wanted to understand completely the nature of this God. In the end, I see that this God is as tired and as shell-shocked as I am . . . in fact, this God is intimately connected to me, and is everything that I also am. This God has been unhappy and lonely and desperate. This God has been abused and neglected. This God is a survivor. This God refuses to give up. This God chooses to see the best he can in every situation, forgives the gravest of insults and faults, and loves all of creation as if everything in the Universe was his very own child. It is hard to accept a child who is a deviant or a mass murderer, and yet our environment is full of these. Our God can see himself in these people, and will love and forgive all. For the strict Christians among us, the only way to describe this kind of love is to imagine that Satan is actually your own child . . . a child that you lovingly wished for and planned to create. A child that was a true joy when he arrived, the fulfillment of all your desires. A child that you have hope for . . . one that you continually pray for and help as much as you can. Our God loves Satan . . . despite what is portrayed in the Bible or among many “hellfire and brimstone” preachers. I have direct experience of this undying and overwhelming love. I know it, because I experience it, every minute of every day. I have reached the enlightenment that I have sought for so long. I have it, and I would like to help others achieve it.
    But, you must be warned. It is a treacherous, frightening desire to wish for God and God alone. There is no other purpose to life, and yet we fill our time with so many false pursuits. We wish to avoid the pain of this journey, and so wish for the world to fulfill us with accolades and possessions. I approached life in this way for many, many years. We fool ourselves into thinking that this is correct living, simply because everyone does it. A deeper look into our true being will show clearly that grasping for worldly rewards is never fulfilling. Satan teases us with false promises. The only recourse is to shed the need for worldly happiness and accept the suffering that comes with defeat. Satan has no hold over an empty vessel. If you cannot be swayed, you can find that your are truthfully saved.
    Strict Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to this end. But, every culture on Earth has within its structure a valid path to salvation. A broader view will show that God does not neglect anybody, no matter what religion or neighborhood. Jesus Christ promised to “come again.” He also chastised us for not recognizing him when he came as Elijah. There is no questioning this promise from him. The Christ is always here, one way or another. The Muslims find him in Mohammed. The Buddhists find him in Gautama Buddha. The Zoarastrians find him in Zarathustra. The Hindus find him in Krishna and other manifestations of the Highest of the High. For Jews, regardless of conventional thought that they do not embrace a messiah, the life of Abraham in their history represents a compassionate father and teacher. Moses was also a highly revered teacher to the Jews and the legacy of the Old Testament prophesies provides a path to them through the Ten Commandments, no matter what. Jesus Christ is a culmination of all expectations for Jews and Christians alike, but doubt and uncertainty is always present in the mind, for everyone until experience.
    Meher Baba was born in 1894. To many worldwide, he is the descent of the Messiah, once again. There is no reason to fight over this claim. As Meher Baba himself conveyed, and I am paraphrasing, ‘Everyone is an atheist until he or she has direct experience of the Infinite One.’ There’s nothing to fight about. There’s no profit in religions crusading to make converts. There is only ONE reality on this subject, and that is TOLERANCE.
    To me, it all is important, and I study the stories, myths, biographies, and scriptures of all that I am capable of understanding. Certain subjects in the study of spiritual history are lost to me because of language barriers. But, I do my best to ask the questions that burn within me whenever I am given a chance. A Muslim friend of mine suggested a website on religious tolerance to me. I promptly told him that my greatest challenge with Islam was the lack of emphasis on monogamy. To my mind, we have moved ahead in social understanding and the same Noah from his mythology is the teacher from mine. We are only going to succeed over lust if we are committed to partnerships built on trust and loving kindness. This is why, even though many religions today deny homosexuals the right to marry, I am a fierce advocate for this to change. Our dear friends everywhere deserve to be held in their communities with respect and dignity. When homosexuals are advanced within their homes and neighborhoods by the challenges they accept in loving monogamous union, they will find healthy environments in which to live and raise families. They will be rewarded with friendly neighbors and welcoming churches. The Bible vilifies homosexuality in many places, especially in older books in the history of religious thought. But, in Matthew, one of the Gospels of the New Testament, Jesus assures his apostles that, and I’m paraphrasing, ‘it will go easier on Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than it will on a town that does not welcome you.’ Sodom and Gomorrah were Old Testament cities that fell because of sinful living, and many have interpreted this to mean that homosexual sex was the cause of their destruction. But, we are told over and over that promiscuity and adultery and covetousness are all sinful, and there is no border between the homosexual community and the heterosexual lifestyle when it comes to these issues. The stamp of approval that society gives to a heterosexual marriage does not ensure that the sins of lust will be eradicated within that home. We see evidence of this all the time.
    A marriage for the public face of a narrow minded neighborhood does not equate with a moral certainty. I feel we need to embrace each other in wholeness and fair treatment. That includes the women of every nation. It is not fair to be held as a third or fourth wife to a domineering individual. Fair treatment for both sexes is the only moral path. In true monogamy and true spiritual living, both partners work to eliminate selfish behavior and bend to the needs of the other. Our problems with pornography and prostitution and sex trafficking and slavery of all kinds are a result of imbalanced respect for the “other.” I cannot allow myself to participate in these evils. I cannot find happiness in sexual gratification, even in marriage, because the selfishness that arises always kills my spirit. But, I know how the majority of people feel, and loneliness becomes such a miserable state for so many people, that partnership is a requirement. I have tried this path, too. Divorcing from problematic marriages and relationships was my only option.
    These are my concerns for the new life. They are very simple. I feel that acceptance for the “weird kid” in your family or neighborhood will change the world. When we truthfully ‘love our neighbor as ourself’ it is impossible to shun the needs of those around us, no matter how distant. Your neighbor is your fellow Earthling, my friends. Do not allow him or her to live in poverty of hope or hearth ever again.