Conflict follows me relentlessly, it seems!
Today, I am just alarmed by sad times with friends who choose to insult instead of listen, several hours of really scary weather in my state last night—tornadoes which left several people dead, a missing handbag which holds documents I need really dramatically, ongoing troubles with money that leave me without gas for hot water and heat, and my almost constant concern about relocation to Africa as soon as I can clear up this mess a little bit.
In the midst of the whirlwind, while feathers of care and worry whip and whirl around me, while the tornado of opposition continues to howl, while authority figures who continue to demand respect are silently dismissed from my life, while I mourn my empty home and keep quiet vigil over the spirit of my estranged daughter . . . I am still at peace internally. I don't know how it is happening, truthfully . . . it's a shocking development in my life . . . but my mind is at rest within.
I am not frantic. I am not panicking. I am not regretful. I am not afraid. I am not angry. I am not hurried. I am not desperate. I am not lonely. I am not in any kind of terror. I am not on a hunt to rescue any "lost" ones. I am not battling any confused spirits, nor any of my own confusion. Today, I am just here, in a now that is simply moving through time and space with gentleness and steadfastness. Praise God. Thank you, Jesus. Avatar Meher Baba ki Jai.
So, as the time passes on, and I simply do the next impossible task on my list and keep plodding forward, I can actually sense that there may be a light at the end of this tunnel. My eternal spring of hopefulness has not run dry!!! It never does. But, today, it bubbles and gurgles with fresh, sweet nectar . . . and I look so forward to that first drink on a shady corridor overlooking the courtyard, at my little desk, with my pens and paper, and some fufu waiting to be made with soup. Pray with me, please, that this simple fantasy is not a pipe dream as I pray continually for your happiness, peace, and transcendence.
Shalom.
Today, I am just alarmed by sad times with friends who choose to insult instead of listen, several hours of really scary weather in my state last night—tornadoes which left several people dead, a missing handbag which holds documents I need really dramatically, ongoing troubles with money that leave me without gas for hot water and heat, and my almost constant concern about relocation to Africa as soon as I can clear up this mess a little bit.
In the midst of the whirlwind, while feathers of care and worry whip and whirl around me, while the tornado of opposition continues to howl, while authority figures who continue to demand respect are silently dismissed from my life, while I mourn my empty home and keep quiet vigil over the spirit of my estranged daughter . . . I am still at peace internally. I don't know how it is happening, truthfully . . . it's a shocking development in my life . . . but my mind is at rest within.
I am not frantic. I am not panicking. I am not regretful. I am not afraid. I am not angry. I am not hurried. I am not desperate. I am not lonely. I am not in any kind of terror. I am not on a hunt to rescue any "lost" ones. I am not battling any confused spirits, nor any of my own confusion. Today, I am just here, in a now that is simply moving through time and space with gentleness and steadfastness. Praise God. Thank you, Jesus. Avatar Meher Baba ki Jai.
So, as the time passes on, and I simply do the next impossible task on my list and keep plodding forward, I can actually sense that there may be a light at the end of this tunnel. My eternal spring of hopefulness has not run dry!!! It never does. But, today, it bubbles and gurgles with fresh, sweet nectar . . . and I look so forward to that first drink on a shady corridor overlooking the courtyard, at my little desk, with my pens and paper, and some fufu waiting to be made with soup. Pray with me, please, that this simple fantasy is not a pipe dream as I pray continually for your happiness, peace, and transcendence.
Shalom.
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