Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

An interesting thing I have learned from experience, as well as from others who have said it before, is that the opposite of love is not hate. It is fear.

It is incredible to me how the imagination works. We will conjure up endless images of what could happen to us in the case of the "unthinkable." To make this worse, we deliberately watch the endless parade of tragedy that we see on the news and in our "theater of despair" on television, just to make the imagined fears more palpable and terrifying. It makes it nearly impossible to say, in a real-life setting, the words "we need to talk" and not experience a reaction that verges on hysteria. Somehow, this "talk" we are going to be forced to endure will lead to bludgeoning, global humiliation, endless torture, and certain death. This reaction has the effect of shutting down the "talker" and the open communication all together . . . so that the repressed need for community and understanding gets shelved and ignored for as long as the evil "talker" involved is also afraid (of the hysterical response which somehow "hurts" the one she loves) and keeps her mouth shut.

How on earth did things get so bad for all of us in the world of honesty and openness? How is it that I can speak my mind to people I love, only to have them react as if I have stolen their children or robbed them of their grandmother's silver tea set? Is my ability to express things that upset me THAT powerful that it creates explosions of pain and destruction for miles around? Is it actually possible that people who have known me my whole lifetime really have such little faith in me as a person that they need to buy home security devices and change their phone numbers?

For the record, for anybody who has been misled by gossip about me, I have NEVER physically hurt anybody. I have yelled, yes, but no more and no louder than other expressive and dramatic people I have known who NEVER got called "crazy." If the fact that I have claimed to hear a Voice — that I have sometimes attributed to God — is the reason people in my life have been so afraid . . . then it is very important for them to look at how they REALLY feel about God and THEMSELVES. It is not my fault at all if they are afraid. The only thing, in my opinion, that they truly fear is the TRUTH.

In the end, however, what this mistrust and judgment means for me, personally, is a pretty lonely existence. Regardless of any "issues" I have with friends or family, I DO love them. I DO want to find resolution and happiness in these relationships. The only problem is that **I** am not afraid to talk about the tough stuff. When others are . . . it really shows their lack of love. It is fear, not hate at all, that keeps us apart.